In a way, I regret having to write this because I never dreamed (and perhaps neither did you) that a person intent on creating terror in our lives would slaughter nine people in a small Bible study class in the basement of a church in Charleston, South Carolina. But in a way, I am pleased to write this because I attended a training hastily convened by the Suffolk County (New York) Police Department on “Protecting Your Religious and Communal Institutions” through “Security Best Practices.”  The mosque, synagogue and church clergy members and lay leaders at the meeting were also educated in “Operation Safeguard” sponsored by the New York State Division of Homeland Security & Emergency Services Office of Counter Terrorism.

I learned at the training that while it is unnecessary to be overly alarmed, it is very important to be prepared by having a few plans in place in the very unlikely event of an incident occurring in our/your church.

I now know some simply, effective and inexpensive things we can do to protect and notify our congregation of possible threats against our church. Additionally, we have registered with the Suffolk County Police Department to receive immediate notification of situations as they develop (for example, an event happened and the suspect is still at large).

Once again, I left the training not particularly alarmed, although sad but reassured by what I learned. I extend my appreciation to the Suffolk County Police Department for creating and hosting this event. Additionally, I have been an active member of the Suffolk County Police/Clergy Council since its inception a few months ago and shall remain so.

There are two days when you are guaranteed over-crowding, slow service and tepid food in a restaurant: Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day. But on Father’s Day you can dine where and when you want. Compared to Mother’s Day, Father’s Day is simply not that big of a deal. Why?

Perhaps it is because fathers get an unfair share of authority, power and privilege. It is, after all, our father who art in heaven to whom we pray. While it is discriminatory that many of the heroic and faithful mothers and other women of the Bible remain forever unnamed, men and fathers still earn more for the same work. Mother’s Day is a thoughtful and well-intended acknowledgment of the countless things mothers do, often without acknowledgment, throughout the year.

Father’s Day is less of a holiday because, some say, fathers have a well-earned bad reputation. Rarely, for example, do we hear of a “Dead Beat Mom” (but they, of course, exist). And prisons are packed primarily with men, many of whom are fathers who have left mothers alone to raise their children in poverty. There is, perhaps, less to celebrate with fathers than with mothers. One year the kids in the Sunday school were painting rocks with words such as, “Peace” and “Love” as Father’s Day gifts. One father strolled by and muttered quietly to me, “Are these for the annual stoning-of-the-fathers?”

But fathers sometimes get a bum rap. How many men tower over quivering children and shout, “Just wait until your mother gets home!” Fathers walk in the door and before they can put their attaché case or toolbox down, the kids are running away from them.  Fathers are stereotyped as the “discipliner” while mothers are stereotyped as the “nurturer.” On Father’s Day, partly because it is in June, we have our annual church BBQ and guess who is outside flipping the burgers and dogs during the worship service? One year the kids in the Sunday school were painting rocks with words such as, “Peace” and “Love” as Father’s Day gifts. One father strolled by and muttered quietly, “Are these for the annual stoning-of-the-fathers?”

Neither Mother’s Day nor Father’s Day are in the Bible. Hallmark Cards has more to do with them than Jesus. I propose we declare a Parent’s Day and invite every parent ~ father or mother ~ to the party. But that won’t happen overnight. In the meantime, let’s simply celebrate all fathers. Let’s beat our swords of shame and blame into plowshares ~ just for a day ~ and invite every biological, step, adoptive, gay or straight, custodial or non-custodial, incarcerated, infirm, dead-beat, dedicated, deployed, awesome, awful, addicted, working or unemployed, emotionally present and emotionally absent father into our churches, living rooms, back yards and restaurants and provide them with a real or virtual cupcake of love, joy and forgiveness as best we are able. Whether our fathers art in heaven, behind bars, in a bar, in a hospital, in a church or in our homes ~ let them also be in our hearts and may the grace of God the Parent of us all grant them a day of peace. Happy Father’s Day!

I received a notification (not kidding here) that  someone was following me on Twitter, so I checked-out her Twitter account and saw that she has 32 thousand followers but has not posted a single tweet. That got me to thinking: I submitted a book proposal to my publisher and told  them that I would write the book after they published it. Then I stared at the nectarines ripening on my kitchen window ledge and wanted to taste them before taking the first bite. I want to be awarded a Nobel Prize for no specific reason. I want to eat fresh raspberries regardless of the season. I want a friendship without all the hassle of getting to know each other. I want to cure hunger without offering any food or access to it. I want to run for office without stating my positions. I want respect without any conditions. I want to pledge allegiance to a country that doesn’t exist. I want to join a church that doesn’t  believe in anything in particular.

But then… what  if I peel a banana and find no banana within? What if I undress my lover and find no-body underneath? What if I have 32 thousand followers willing to follow me nowhere? What if there are billions of tweets tweeted every day by people with nothing to say? Maybe 32 thousand followers of an empty Twitter account is like a Yoko Ono art exhibit of empty canvases. Or the sound of one hand clapping. Or a tree falling in a forest making no sound because there is no one there to hear. Maybe 32 thousand followers of someone with nothing to say is indicative of a world where form not only trumps content, but succeeds specifically because there is no content. Maybe we do live in a world full of sound and fury that signified nothing. Maybe we prefer it that way.

But not me…

http://www.newsday.com/opinion/oped/suffolk-police-should-also-get-body-cams-1.10455803

I have never been so down on my luck that I had little or no access to toilet paper ~ but that is not the case with many people. We at the Congregational Church of Patchogue want to thank you for helping us to help people meet their most basic needs: simple foods, toilet paper, soap, feminine hygiene products and other items. This photo is from “The Blessing of the Toilet Paper” at the church. We serve people without regard or question as to their address, age, preferences, orientation, ethnicity. The only requirement is that they seek what we have to offer. And what we can offer is up to you. Please send contributions to The Congregational Church of Patchogue, 95 East Main St. Patchogue, NY 11772. Write pantry or TP in the memo section. 100% of contributions go to purchase much needed items. Thank you, Rev. Dwight Lee Wolter.

SNARKY ATTITUDE ALERT (read on at your own risk):

My daughter, son-in-law, twin 4 year olds and their youngest, a 1 year old,  moved to San Francisco from New York City almost a year ago. They have gone to three United Church of Christ (UCC) churches and found no children in the church. None.

It is not easy…. getting three kids age four and under into an SUV on a Sunday morning with a bloodshot eyed, dedicated, loving and lovely father at the wheel who, between work and family, never sleeps. Add to this family photo a devoted, self-employed, mother and advocate with kids in two different schools and a hideous pile of laundry that even a pole-vaulter cannot clear and… and… they arrive at a church with a pastor who wants to talk and talk convincingly for 20 minutes about social issues that my kids walked in the door already believing? And they really (really???) expect my grand children to sit on laps in the sanctuary with a crayon and a graham cracker for an hour? Really? We have had over 2,000 years since Jesus and this is our plan?

My kids are now settling-in on a church that is “on the evangelical side” according to my daughter, but is jammin’ with children and youth. Vitality is visceral. And endless banter about social issues is boring, especially with three kids in your pew with nowhere to go. And so we in the church slowly die from self-inflicted wounds while claiming that we are not the only ones who are bleeding.

Damn! So many, many churches are pathetic!  Churches that cannot or will not be renewed should be released. And if my Protestant kids end-up in the much-dreaded-and-maligned evangelical church then it is because we chauffeured them there. And I, for one, wish them well. Any port in a storm…

In a few minutes I will depart my home for a funeral home where I will conduct a service for a recently departed surgeon. I spoke with his adult children at length in preparation for the service of this man I never met in life, but have come to know in death. After our talk, the adult children mulled things over for a day or two and after much deliberation called to request that I “scratch the Jesus and God stuff” from the funeral service because they had decided that he was an atheist after all.

Okay.

I have no problem with atheists. I simply replaced the reading of  the 23^rd psalm with one of John Muir’s writings about a grove of giant redwoods forming a cathedral the likes of which he had never seen or felt in church. But one of the daughters wrote a eulogy for her father that was riddles with references and questions about “angels” and “mystery” and “what lies beyond.”

I find such thoughts and questions at the occasion of death to be profoundly religious. As a matter of fact, one of the most profound questions one can ask is, “Why?” ~ closely followed by “Why me?”  and “Why now?” and “Why not me?” and “Why not now?”

But we still have the problem with reconciling the atheist surgeon, referred to by many as a “healer”, who could not heal himself. And we have the problem of the surgeon who added years to the life of others, but was powerless to add a single moment to his own. And so who is the great surgeon, the great healer and the great physician behind the one now in a casket?

I find funerals, particularly the funerals of atheists, to be profoundly spiritual and, dare I say, religious. The bottom line, for me, is… and perhaps always shall be… whether or not the departed left the world in slightly better shape that it was in when she or he entered it.

Let’s keep it simple: Leaving a trail of beliefs behind you is akin to leaving a trail of bread crumbs in the woods to find your way back. But leaving a trail of good deeds and honored relationships is a legacy that will live eternally, no matter where you may be headed once the lid of the coffin is closed.

The online magazine, Patheos, published a piece I wrote on Mother’s Day: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/faithforward/2015/05/happy-mothers-day-dad/

For the benefit of both the Suffolk County Police Department and the community it serves, we need to seriously and immediately begin to openly discuss and pursue the possibility of issuing police body cameras. There have been significant improvements in policing in the past few years since the hate crime killing of Marcelo Lucero. But they came after the subsequent strained relations between the community and the Suffolk County Police Department, leading to a Department of Justice (DOJ) investigation. Existing technology would reduce the risk of future allegations of misconduct because they could be confirmed or negated by the use of body cameras on police officers.

We are currently in a time of profound civil disturbances involving encounters between civilians and police officers. Nassau County and other police departments across the country are issuing or actively considering the possibility of issuing “body cams.” The Suffolk County Police Department had apparently adopted an unofficial “wait and see” attitude toward body cams. We cannot afford to wait until a tragedy occurs in our county as it has in so any others. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. We need and deserve a clearly stated position of the County Executive, local mayors, town supervisors and other elected and appointed officials as regards the use of body cameras in their respective communities in Suffolk County. There is evidence, to be disputed or accepted, that body cameras act to deter crime as well as to encourage police restraint.

There are obviously financial costs of providing body cameras and storing collected data. Perhaps body cameras are economically not feasible. But there have also been financial pay-outs of significant amounts (the most recent being $200,000) in allegations of police misconduct. Body cams would clarify such disputes, and such payouts could be used to defray the cost of implementing body cameras and would serve to benefit both the Suffolk County Police Department and the community it is dedicated to serve.

Rev. Dwight Lee Wolter presided at the funeral of Marcelo Lucero in 2008. The Congregational Church of Patchogue church has hosted many community events, including the upcoming Community Forum on body cameras that will take place at the Congregational Church of Patchogue on Monday, May 4^th at 7:30 in the evening.

Email: pastor@churchonmainstreet.org